Brain’s nothingness centre found

Collectively Unconscious has a satirical post entitled “Brain region found that does absolutely nothing”.

Neuroscientists at the University of Ingberg have found a brain region that does absolutely nothing. Their research, presented at the annual Society for Neuroscience meeting, showed that a small region of the cortex located near the posterior section of the cingulate gyrus responded to ‘not one of our 46 experimental manipulations’…

“Over the months that followed we tried everything we knew, with over 20 different participants. IQ tests, memory tasks, flashing lights, talking, listening, imagining juggling, but there was no response. Nothing. We got more desperate, so we tried pictures of faces, TMS, pictures of cats, pictures of sex, pictures of violence and even sexy violence, but nothing happened! Not even a decrease. No connectivity to anywhere else, not even a voodoo correlation. 46 voxels of wasted space. I know dead salmons that are more responsive.”

Clearly the problem here is a lack of imagination.

A recent (genuine) study simply ran the same experimental data from an fMRI scanning session through 6,912 different possible ways of conducting the analysis.

Suddenly, activity popped up all over the brain.

As Einstein said “Imagination is more important than knowledge, because even though science strives to be an objective body of knowledge driven by a systematised method for accurately discovering causal relationships, in reality, it’s a bun fight”.

Pretty sure that was Einstein. Hang on, I’ll just check my stats. Yep, yes it was.

Link to satirical post on Collectively Unconscious.

4 thoughts on “Brain’s nothingness centre found”

  1. In one of the great ironies of modern science a marital therapist discovered and revealed the “nothing centre” of the brain well before the “Norsemen”… I’d never heard of this fellow but he is hilarious and worth a few minutes of your online time to clarify one of the deepest mysteries of the human brain:

    Tongue firmly in cheek,

  2. Great link- I posted the article on our (Systems Neuroscience) lab bulletin board, and so far, 3 very smart Neuroscientists have come to me wanting to know more about the “nothingness center”. That’s the mark of a great parody…

  3. Zen practitioners everywhere will be ecstatic to know this. Now we can point to a precise location and say with confidence: “this is where it isn’t”

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