The Onion has a funny story with the headline ‘Man Raised By Parents Struggling To Adjust To Human Society’.
MINNEAPOLIS—Two years after his discovery by a team of developmental psychologists, David Sullivan, a man raised by a pair of mated parents, is still struggling to adapt to normal human society, sources confirmed Friday.
According to researchers at the University of Minnesota, Sullivan, 25, has made significant progress since moving into his own apartment in 2009, but the decades he spent being reared by parents has made joining civilization a desperately difficult task.
“The chances of David ever becoming socialized to the point where he can function normally among humans is very slim,” said Dr. Lisa Reynolds, a psychologist who has observed Sullivan since he was first introduced into the real world. “The sheltered, isolated environment in which he spent his adolescence has left him completely unequipped to deal with modern life. Tasks that may seem simple to us, such as doing laundry or grocery shopping, completely baffle David.”
Link to ‘Man Raised By Parents Struggling To Adjust To Human Society’.
Mind Hacks 
What do they mean by ‘mated parents’? I don’t understand: what was wrong with his parents?
It’s a joke. The Onion is a satire news site, and even this site says it’s a “funny story” there at the top. Try to pay attention! Haha
The last line had me in fits: “…28-year-old Brian Werner, a man who was raised by television.”