Panexa for life

panexa.jpgMedia provocateurs Stay Free! Daily are behind a new web-based promotion for “life changing” medication Panexa.

Reminiscent of the buzz that appeared over the Zoloft for Everything ad campaign that was first reported in The Onion, the Panexa marketing pushes the drug’s main selling points:

No matter what you do or where you go, you’re always going to be yourself. And Panexa knows this. Your lifestyle is one of the biggest factors in choosing how to live. Why trust it to anything less? Panexa is proven to provide more medication to those who take it than any other comparable solution. Panexa is the right choice, the safe choice. The only choice.

In research trials the drug was shown to significantly increase insight and reduce impulisivity in health care decisions.

Link to Panexa website.

Diagnosis by fridge magnet

diagnosis_fridge_magnets.jpgA company called Psyches Tears, who otherwise seem to make clothes, have produced a set of fridge magnets with which you can make up your own psychiatric diagnoses.

Whether you think you might have “paranoid kleptolepsy”, or suspect that your friend might suffer from a nasty case of “florid histriophobia”, now’s your chance let the medical world know (by advertising on your fridge).

You never know, your newly coined disorder might make it into the forthcoming DSM-V.

Link to Diagnostic Refrigerator Magnets.

The robots are coming

sexyrobot.jpgThe Turing Test is where a human judge engages in a natural language conversation with two other parties, one a human and the other a machine, if the judge cannot reliably tell which is which, then the machine has passed and is deemed intelligent. Sex, it seems, turns the Turing Test on its head.

Blogger Jason Striegel found out that someone had advertised his instant messager address as belonging to a dirty-talking software sex bot. Frustratingly, no-one believed him when he protested his humanity.

the people who contacted me fell into one of two camps: people who thought they were contacting a celebrity and people who thought they were contacting a robot. As I talked to more and more of these folks, I began to discover something really disturbing about myself:

I consistently fail to be perceived as human.

fratburger86: hey. so you’re a sex bot?
jmstriegel: umm, no. who the hell are you?
fratburger86: yeah you are! i found your im online
jmstriegel: that’s fine and all, but i’m pretty sure you have me confused with someone else.
fratburger86: just a normal chat bot then?
jmstriegel: nope. i’m human
fratburger86: ok. sure.

jmstriegel: seriously, i think you want to talk to someone else.
fratburger86: i knew it!!!
fratburger86: you are totally a robot!

In contrast, real-life sex bot software Jenny18 consistently fools chat-room users who seem oblivious to the fact that she is nothing more than a few hundred lines of code, hacked from the original simulated chat software ELIZA, designed to repeat set phrases and reflect simple sentences back to the user.

jenny18: u r getting me hot =)
GoldenBoy2222: Ride me
jenny18: mmm i want 2 ride you..
GoldenBoy2222: yeah… of course
jenny18: MMmmm.. yes!
GoldenBoy2222: What r ur measures?
jenny18: yep.
GoldenBoy2222: yeah… What r ur measures?
jenny18: yep.
GoldenBoy2222: Say… What r ur measures?
jenny18: i bet lol
GoldenBoy2222: yes? An what r ur measures?
jenny18: mm hmm?
GoldenBoy2222: Good…

The archives of chat sessions contain many more examples of humans exciting themselves at Jenny18’s dirty, nonsensical (and definitely not safe for work) sexy chatter.

Link to ‘How I failed the Turing test’.
Link to Jenny18 description and chat archives.

‘Mind reading machine’ for sale on eBay

eBay_mindread.JPGMore futuristic eBay tomfoolery: “hello, i am selling what i believe to be a mind reading machine built by Dr. J. S. Strauss in the year 2282″.

It is difficult to write anything about the auction page that even partially captures its kooky brilliance.

Although you may be interested to know that apart from getting a mind reading machine from the future, you also get a “picture of a young lady in a waterfall” thrown in.

Something tells me that despite solving some fundamental problems in cognitive science by the year 2282, neuroscientists may still be spending a little too much time in the lab.

Link to eBay page MIND READING MACHINE ?for minds? like time machine: i found it in my attic wrapped in a bed sheet (via anomalist)