Comments on: Grief, mental illness and psychiatry’s sad refrain

By: deeds

deeds — Sat, 28 May 2011 18:19:08 +0000

Having been raised in an abusive household , my brother being my hero and protector and best friend for all my life. He was taken from this world 19 years ago, exactly one month to the day my dad was also killed…Six months didnt even afford me relief to drag myself from my bed…19 years ago..And much much grief later, i have came to terms with my brother’s quick exit from this life.. I know he is ok because he communicates with me when he is able..I was just dianosed as schitzophrenic…

By: cavall de quer

cavall de quer — Wed, 25 May 2011 14:33:06 +0000

“Whenever people say, ‘We mustn’t be sentimental,’ you can take it they are about to do something cruel. And if they add, ‘We must be realistic,’ they mean they are going to make money out of it.” Brigid Brophy.
“…people did not sentimentalize animals.” – I dare say the upshot of this “non-sentiment” is the same as the “personifying” – i.e., the animals get it in the neck.

By: How to Stop Loving Someone « Healing Betrayal

How to Stop Loving Someone « Healing Betrayal — Wed, 25 May 2011 12:05:42 +0000

[...] Grief, mental illness and psychiatry’s sad refrain (mindhacks.com) [...]

By: Vanessa

Vanessa — Wed, 25 May 2011 05:09:08 +0000

Allowing MEDICINAL treatment within a month of bereavement is an injustice to the people who are suffering from their grief. I absolutely think that treatment in the form of counseling or CBT is appropriate even within a week of bereavement, but drug treatment is inappropriate within such a short period of time UNLESS symptoms are extremely severe (suicide attempts or what have you). (that is my opinion) Anti-depressants aren’t going to help a person learn how to cope with loss – it will just numb them to the pain they are experiencing.
I hate to be one of those, “Now I can tell my story!” kind of people, but when my Daddy passed away I grieved intensely for at least a year. Crying often (like every day), lack of concentration, etc. etc. But I did eventually pass out of that phase – however, I would have been considered to be disordered!
I think disordered grieving is easy to diagnose in people who, for example, lost a family member ten years ago and still live in this world of grief where the feeling of loss is so intense that they may even try to pretend the person is still alive to lessen that feeling. I understand the desire to create a starting point of being able to diagnose that kind of disorder… but six months is ridiculously short.

By: anthony

anthony — Wed, 25 May 2011 00:47:38 +0000

Emmy

I agree with you that there is a bond between certain animal and human and I agree with you you that we should see the pet on its own level.
I just returned from some time in South America and one thing that I notice is that people were always around other people, social isolation was extremely rare and people did not sentimentalize animals. Its just striking being back in the states where animal are personified.

By: Joe Paz » Brain Tweets

Joe Paz » Brain Tweets — Tue, 24 May 2011 16:05:55 +0000

[...] [...]

By: Emmy

Emmy — Tue, 24 May 2011 01:20:51 +0000

I know what you’re saying, I’m just not sure that pets feel the way most of us think they do. I mean, it’s not as though they have any choice. Some pets run away the first chance they get. And dogs who are credited with “saving” a family from a burning house – as one behaviorist says, of course the dog wakes up the family – how else could the dog get the door open to escape? One blogger seems to understand dogs pretty well, though.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/11/dogs-dont-understand-basic-concepts.html

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/04/wild-animal-simple-dog-goes-for-joy.html

By: Emmy

Emmy — Tue, 24 May 2011 01:16:51 +0000

Anthony, I agree with you in that people often humanize pets as “babies”, which I find disturbing. Mostly because they do not respect the cat (dog, rabbit, etc) for what they are. Pets can challenge people if the person wants to understand the species at their own level. I’ve studied cats and Feliformes for years (both as a biologist and vet nurse). Pets can sometimes be seen as allies. Certainly plenty of humans have poor boundaries and do not give each other enough space; when people adopt an animal, it’s up to them to choose an animal based on good personality rather than how cute it is.

I don’t think we can label something as “inappropriate relations” when anthorpologists have not even begun to understand human-pet relationships. There is some interesting research out there but it’s in its early stages, unless I’m missing something. Until we figure it out, we won’t even fully understand what we’re grieving.

By: anthony

anthony — Mon, 23 May 2011 16:02:24 +0000

Pet grieving may be part of another problem, the growing inappropriate relations between people and their pet. People are highly social yet many of us live in isolation and as take on pets as surrogates friends. As someone who likes dogs and cats I’m always dismayed when people take on pets as “part of the family.” Pets can’t challenge you, Know when to push you, know when to give space, or add fresh intellectual stimulations as a fellow human can. By all means take care of your pet, but respect the fact it is an animal. I feel many people who grieve over the loss of a pet blur this boundary.

By: jbee

jbee — Sun, 22 May 2011 06:11:35 +0000

I guess there are people who “Claim Grief,” and others who are relieved to discover the issue is Grief, albeit complex.

As usual, it depends on one’s honesty to oneself.