Mental health professionals, user support groups, friends and family. Good news has arrived. Someone has found a cure for all mental illnesses and all that is needed is that you hit them on the ears until they lose consciousness.
This ‘cure’, apparently christened the Kadir-Buxton Method, is detailed on a website so weird that I’m not entirely sure it isn’t a hoax, but it’s quite entertaining either way.
Apparently, it’s the “biggest breakthrough in Medicine since my invention Microsurgery” [sic] and the core of the technique is “striking both ears of the patient at exactly the same time” to render the person unconscious.
No really, it is.
The procedure is painless and the patient regains consciousness faster the less hard the double blow is struck. With practice, I am able to render the patients unconscious for only thirty seconds. Other individuals have faired even better.
At this point I would like to explain the difference between a stun and a punch. With the Kadir-Buxton Method, a patient standing on one leg whilst holding a rose would still be standing on one leg and holding a rose when they were cured. With a punch, the patient would be lying prone on the floor, and could well have dropped the rose. And just to add insult to injury, they would still be mentally ill. Try it for yourselves if you do not believe me.
Actually, hitting the ears can be dangerous as the air pressure can burst the ear drums, so it’s really not recommended.
However, an equally serious side-effect is that the ‘patient’ might hit you back.
Link to frankly odd Kadir-Buxton Method (thanks Liz!).